“Awards become corroded. Friends gather no dust.” — Jesse Owens
Coming out of Walgreens getting my bloodwork done ordered by one of my doctors, I decided to head over to the park in my town. I just wanted to take in the nice day today. The sun was out but the weather was not too warm or harsh, it was just perfect thanks to the clouds making it very cloudy and not too bright of sun.
I ran into one of my childhood friends at the park, Jairo, who till this day has his family living two houses away from where I stay; The same house he’s lived in since we were kids. Jairo wanted to move to a better location in the big park we were in, a nicer and relaxed area – the area to where the picture above is located. The small houses are those used by the city for some type of scouts group program, I hardly ever see them being used. There is a beautiful scenery of green around but the houses give off this eerie vibe, locked windows covered with metal-like frames to prevent anyone from coming in or out.
Jairo and I began to talk and I brought up one of our friends who recently just passed away about a month ago, it feels as if it just happened a week ago. Time flies by so fast sometimes, so fast that I forget how Jairo wasn’t just your local town drug addict who fell victim to hard drugs; Jairo, who roams the town at midnight just talking to himself most of the time now. About a year or two ago, he was still living at that same house I mentioned earlier, now he never really goes home, just wanders restlessly around. That same friend I knew just never stayed the same, could barely hold a proper conversation, but there I am talking with him; It could be because I just don’t see that crazy drug addict, but that friend whom I knew for years that just happened to get sucked up by drugs and mental health problems. It’s like if I hold on the the belief that talking with him won’t be so pointless and not a waste of time, but usually it ends up just being a waste of time. Maybe I shouldn’t see it like that and be glad I can still say hi to him and that he still acknowledges me. Now who knows where Jiaro will go from here in life too, his mind just gets worse and worse due to drug abuse.
Going back to the topic of my friend who passed away, Danny, I bring up the memories we shared with him. I just felt like reminiscing about him with Jairo. Throughout our day-to-day life, us humans always seem busy doing things and once in a while we hit a day where we take a step away from that typical busy and distracted life and reflect on where we are in life and the memories that have gone by. It’s as if we take a pause to just get back to focusing on the now, instead of the never guaranteed tomorrow.
Jairo was having a hard time focusing but it made me glad that it was not just I who shared memories hanging out with Danny. We were both there a numerous times at Danny’s place; The amount of times we would get together with other friends and drink, joke around, eat from Danny’s fridge, “crack up” and laugh our asses off while being drunk. My first “shotgun” ever was with Danny, I think it was him who showed me how to do it. Man the amount of times I enjoyed shotgunning a beer for fun, but only with friends like Danny whom I felt comfortable with. That was back when I still drank, I never had a heavy drinker though. It felt good to be drunk at Danny’s place, the nice “buzz”” high and socializing with him, watching TV – “Reservation Dogs” to other random korean shows on youtube. He loved K-pop, a little too much that I just could not stand it. Listening to it all the time made me grow to despise it; But now with him gone, I grew to familiarize that music with the memory of my passed friend. I had other memories, going out with him whether: to get some smoothies and putting alcohol in it, going to the mall with him pushing me on the wheelchair because I couldn’t walk much, taking over leftover spaghetti mom made so he can eat when he asked for food over the phone because he would sometimes get hungry. He would offer to take my scooter or bike up the stairs to his apartment, because I had trouble lifting heavy things due to my weak leg issues and complications. That’s something I respected about him, a lot of people like to judge my issue with my inability to walk much and see it as just someone being lazy, he never judged me for it nor questioned it. I respected that about him a lot, didn’t see me as different.
It wasn’t always perfect, there was a nasty side to him that would come out of nowhere, attitude with a mix of irritation – but he was still a good friend. Nobody is perfect. So don’t let that mentioned bad times define him. When his attitude came out, that’s when you know his “bipolar disorder” -he called it – kicked in, and it led to some tension between us, but only temporarily. I was patient with him because he was a good friend to me. Many times he would call me over to go to his place just to share some food he would order from uber eats. It was almost always Mexican food: from tacos, to fast food burgers, or KFC. Man I had so many memories just sharing the great past time eating like fatasses and watching TV or more like tolerating his K-pop, haha. I always admired the native american culture, so we one time put videos on youtube about pow wows and dances. He said it brought him back memories of when he lived with his mother, I don’t remember which state he mentioned but maybe it was Oklahoma – the same state where his body gets buried this 25th of February, 2026, which will literally be tommorow. He passed away on January 30th. He has now joined his mother who too passed away couple years ago from the downfall of drinking as well. I think a lot of the cause of his drinking was the pain of his mother’s passing. Once, there was a time he was tearing up in front of me while a night of just roaming around the streets at night coming from liquor store, he was just sitting on the sidewalk randomly on the street while on our way back and brought up how much he missed his mother. It was I believe a day before or after mother’s day.
One time Danny just was not answering his phone, I got in contact with a hospital he was staying in and when he was finally out, he came out to tell me that his liver was going bad. It’s been something he has been knowing and according to him and past visits with medical doctors, he was told that if he wouldn’t stop drinking, it could get worse. I didn’t know how bad it was, I did not see it physically. I began to tell him about changing his lifestyle and just slowly giving up alcohol – I did that quite a numerous of times. In the end, I couldn’t change his decisions, so it was up to him. I’m sure other friends also kept telling him to stop too and that it was not too late to stop. But eventually, it was probably too late; In his last months, Danny was very yellow, his liver was bad, his eyes were yellow and his belly was swollen. He stopped answering his phone, I would call him many times and thought about a quick visit to catch up with him. He just wouldn’t answer, I can’t judge him, I too am like that – ignoring friends and being in my own world when my mental health is sometimes not at its best. Sometimes I just still do that when I am just fine to be honest, I just want peace. So I can understand him.
We first met when we were kids. I first met him a little later in fifth grade of elementary school. I knew him still just a little in sixth grade as well but didn’t hang out no more. And then, he disappeared. Then all of a sudden after so many years, I bumped into him just two years ago. We started hanging out again just like old times, but now we were old, or at least that’s how I see myself. So one year in fifth grade and two years recently, summed up it is as if I just knew him for three years, but he was part of my childhood life. Now he just turned thirty this year before his passing.
Alcohol is the devil’s juice that unfortunately has fallen in the hands of many native american people, I heard it all the time from other natives I meet– which are very rare and unheard of here in South Gate- who mention how alcohol is a big problem in their culture. Blame the colonizers who came and did that to them, or would it be unfair for me to say that? I don’t know, all I know is how much I admired the native american culture and how I hold these great memories of Danny.
I got a text from a friend I know who knows Danny a bit, and told me that someone posted on their social media about Danny passing. I could not believe it, I was just coming out of the gym bathroom at an aquatic center at a park where I just finished swimming for morning exercise. I felt anxiety in my stomach but then just calmed down, I did not feel too shocked. It’s as if I just knew it was bound to happen, he was not doing so well anymore and told me he needed a liver transplant last I spoke to him in person which was quite a while. I went over to his uncle’s house with other friends to confirm the news about Danny. His uncle opened the door and spoke with me. Danny passed away the night before from the day I found myself speaking with the uncle, he was not feeling well and was taken to the hospital. And, it happened. Thanks for being my friend Danny Boy, now you can be with your beloved mother.
Rest easy Danny Boy.
Between Thought & Noise 